Noooooo! Don't do it. Don't go...

You mean so much to me. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain. Lack of communication ends so many great relationships—like ours could have been if you’d stepped away from the unsubscribe button long enough to listen to what I have to say, which is that I will miss you, and I hope you eventually come back…In the mean time, I’ll be oversleeping and eating cookie dough to cope with losing you. So if you decide to return, please wait a few days because cookie dough sounds pretty good right now.

Arriverderci, my fair-weather friend…*sniffle*